How the Stair Master Made me Socially Awkward – or was it Facebook?

I have never been a runner…. ever. However, I realize the importance of exercise and make an effort to stay in shape… most of the time. Two ACL surgeries have firmly put me in the ‘low impact’ category of exercise and I have found my cardio main-stay on elliptical machines and stair masters. I get a solid workout without my knee swelling up like a cantaloup. I have used a stair master regularly for at least 15 years… maybe more… at least since my formative teenager years. These many years of using simulated stair-machines have now rendered me helpless in the face of physical steps. I stare at them confused, uncertain of my next move – how do they work? Why don’t they move? I will sometimes stand helpless for hours as I wait for a light to turn on and let me know whether I will be moving up them in “cross-country” or “random” mode while recording my caloric output.

I now fear that my decade long use of the elliptical machine is beginning to affect my gait and my casual amblings down the street will be the next victim in this long stretch of simulated activity machine incapacity. It won’t be long until free-weights make me unable to lift objects around the house – oh wait, I already have that ailment (or so I tell my husband).

This hyperbolic string is part of an exchange I have continued with my friend and colleague Dan, carried out almost entirely via text message. Dan and I share a passion for education and technology – in a lot of ways, he is more techy than I (and in some ways not). In spite of the fact that Dan and I regularly exchange jibes and jokes and basic communiques via text message we also chat on the phone and, when we find ourselves in the same town (as we live in other states), even get together for a meal or a drink – a real, in life social interaction.

Why am I making this ridiculous point? Well, one of my greatest annoyances about the complaints I hear bout the rise of technological communication is that it hinders and even stunts real-life, social interaction. I hear this remark from my colleagues, friends, families, and online (irony highlighted) all the time – Facebook, Twitter, text messaging, and email have turned us all into socially awkward troglodytes incapable of basic niceties beyond grunts and crude gestures.

Studies and assessments on the topic are often inconclusive or even contradictory. All that I can highlight is my own observations (as a consumer of electronic media for most of my life) and as a teacher of both the socially advanced and hindered. So, let me tell you a little about myself – I Facebook, I tweet, I email, I text, I blog, I play World of Warcraft (yep, that game), I list serve, I message board, I instant message, I Skype, I iChat, I LOL and if it’s really funny I’ll even RFLMAO. I also go out to wine tastings with my husband, have dinner with old friends, travel to Europe with colleagues, go on Southern California Adventures with friends. I have friends (in “real life”) that I’ve known for a year, and those that I’ve known for 20 (and a multitude in between). Other than my crippling social awkwardness around celebrities (sorry Eddie Izzard and Dr. Drew), I am actually a pretty social person. Texting hasn’t rendered me incapable of visiting my friend Michelle in San Francisco – in fact, it helps to keep our relationship on the front-burner as I can send her quick quips when they jump into mind. And when I see her in person, we catch up where we left off.

The world we are in today (for better or worse) is much different than the way it was in the past. We live far away from friends and family; our peripatetic lifestyles make it virtually impossible for us to keep up with all of the important people in our lives, spread out across the globe, using ‘traditional’ methods. However, with new media (like Facebook) I have been able to see my cousin’s (who lives 1,500 miles away) baby bump photos grow every week  with a smile on my face. I get to see my niece’s growth in between visits – her Easter Dress and Halloween Costume. They live 1,000 away from me, so I miss many events. Facebook, pictures and video messages have helped me to stay involved in those important moments in her life.

Now, I am not saying that I have not seen “socially awkward” children dive into Facebook or Twitter as a sanctuary from the frightening world around them. That is true. In a way, “online” provides them a safe outlet within which they may develop their own persona and thought out responses outside of the physical realm. Not ideal, by any means, but not the first time that this has happened. Before Facebook and Twitter, these were the kids who played Dungeons and Dragons without end or buried themselves in their parents basement with the ham radio. Children with social awkwardness do need special attention and often must be gently pushed into uncomfortable situations to help improve their abilities to get along with other human beings. This isn’t a new problem.

I propose that the idea that social awkward/technology promote social ineptitude is all wrong. Technology doesn’t cause social awkwardness in teenagers. Kids aren’t ‘forgetting how to write’ because of texting’ or unable to communicate face to face because they send emails. The reality is that technology and social media are tools – tools that can be used in many way. You can use a hammer to bash in somebody’s brain, but it also works really well for hammering in nails. I have witnessed social butterflies become monarch social butterflies using Facebook and Twitter. I have personally experienced an expansion of my own professional learning network (PLN) using social networking sites (not at the expense of my personal interaction).

In my experience, social media becomes a problem for those who already have a problem – it further exacerbates an existing issue. However, for the mainstay it’s another tool – an expansion of our already social nature.

12 thoughts on “How the Stair Master Made me Socially Awkward – or was it Facebook?

  1. Michael Hulshof-Schmidt

    I love the title and the whole post! I particularly loved: “Children with social awkwardness do need special attention and often must be gently pushed into uncomfortable situations to help improve their abilities to get along with other human beings.” You really are such a wonderful educator. I’m glad you gave Dan credit about technology, but was surprised that you neglected to mention that I, Michael Hulshof-Schmidt, have been your technology mentor–dare I say your Tech Guru, for these many years. Now if you will excuse me, I just bought some new string and Dixie cups, so I can call you later this afternoon.

    1. Jennifer Lockett Post author

      You are right Michael, I remember when you told me “Look Jennifer, the internet is not a fad! You need to go out and buy a computer!”

  2. Michael Hulshof-Schmidt

    You think I don’t see what is going on here? You are so transparent. I know you have always been threatened by my youth, beauty, and my profound ability to use the technology. Now, I have to run. I’m out of whiteout for my typewriter.

  3. Jim Wheeler

    Good post, Jennifer, and I believe it’s a moot point anyway. Unless the power grid fails, there will be no going back, Steve Jobs or not.

    BTW, I am 74 and I play Halo on my X-Box 360. Now what do you make of that? 😆


  4. Michelle

    This post had me LOLing. Had to read it out load to my sister her LOL! I agree with you, technology is not to blame for social awkwardness. These children have other problems (anxiety, depression, etc) they need to address. Technology just happens to be their outlet. Thanks for the props too!

  5. stumdanger

    Interesting how you used the example of fitness to start illustrating your point. I must say, what started as skepticism with thoughts like “is she seriously suggesting that her gym time has hampered her real life” turned into amusement at the way you neatly pointed out the ridiculousness of social media hampering actual interaction. But, as one sided discussions are no fun, our dependence on technology has left us with a bit of a problem. We have little idea what to do without it, and I do not mean merely in the sense of social awkwardness.

    Now many people may claim that we don’t, but try living a day without it. How about in a place where power is not a guarantee. Take the United States Army for example. We have technology everywhere, so much so that my soldiers who are a product of the technological revolution would be unable to do their job without it.

    It is amazing to think how far we have come. While doing a training exercise in California, we were plagued by connectivity and power issues. People were having trouble adapting to the problems. Then one of our senior staff officers looked at us during a meeting and said “50 years ago, we fought a two front war on three continents with nothing but radios and did a pretty good job of it.” It was all I could do to keep from laughing at how right he was and how ridiculously dependent we have become.

    To tie it back in to social media, however, we have become dependent on that as well. The days of “disappearing into the ether” as comedian Joe Rogan put it when referring to the days before cell phones are over. Even on the other side of the world, my soldiers can keep up with their wives and families. The problem is, this means that issues that cannot be fixed are constantly present. Personality conflicts end up public (Facebook has been a constant scourge in that regard). In addition, as we draw down from Iraq and things like internet go away, I do not look forward to the issues that I will face as soldiers suddenly lose touch with home.

    Finally, and probably more problematic for you, such media gives the opinionated people like me the ability to spew our half baked ideologies across continents. Luckily for you, however, is that there is always the delete option. Still, good work. I still really like this blog and its insights.

    1. Jennifer Lockett Post author

      Some excellent points. I become readily aware of my dependence when I travel abroad and no longer have ready access to the internet and must rely on *gasp* paper maps to get around or phrase books. Likewise, I have to tell friends and family that “I’ll call if there’s a problem.”

      Thank you for pointing out the unique issues with the military – outside of my purview.


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